I don’t remember what I’ve written about on here before. I think the last dozen posts or so were just filler. Many posts before that were lost in the website reshuffles over time. (I mean, I still have a backup of those posts, but they aren’t on here.) I do know that it’s been a while since I’ve written anything meaningful here or even in my personal journal.
Maybe it’s time to admit that I have a problem.
I am in a constant cycle of wanting to be over-productive in some hobby or another which is then followed by the burnout of having no motivation to do said hobby.
I worked on music for maybe 2 or 3 years with releases between 2021 and 2023. I’ve managed various websites throughout those years (obviously, still do) and been blogging on-and-off for most of my life. As a teen, I ran a small PHP-Nuke website out of my house and I’ve had some sort of online presence ever since with brief intermissions of trying to be completely disconnected.
Drawing has been around for a while as I have been attempting to doodle since at least 2010 but I can’t say that I really got serious about it until 2021. That’s when I started making a real effort to improve, submit to contests, and post to social media frequently. I can tell by looking at my art folder where I store my images for eternity – it’s broken down into “old stuff” and then yearly directories for 2021 and on.
Video games have been a pretty constant force in my life as well. There have been a few years here and there where I didn’t own a gaming computer but it usually just means that I’m playing games on other devices in the meantime.
I also like to read books but I definitely go through phases there. I read something like 8 books a month or two ago (over the course of a month or two) but after I finished that last one…? Well, I haven’t picked up a book since. It might be months before I do.
A lot of these hobbies have stuck around for a long time. I mean, I’m even writing a blog entry again. I suppose the only thing that changes is the priority order of those hobbies and how I feel about them in the moment. For example, I have gone back and forth on video gaming as a hobby. On the one hand, I love the entertainment of a good story RPG or the strategy of an RTS… but I also tend to feel an overwhelming sense of, “I need to be doing something better than this,” whenever I’m playing a game.
When it comes to art and writing, I enjoy it but the wall I hit is with sharing. I hate being on social media (and have recently closed down most of those channels because I’m in the “over it” part of the cycle) and posting stuff all the time. I hate begging for views and likes… but I also don’t see the point of doing this just for no one to see it. Isn’t the point of making art for it to be shared with the world? TBH, though, I just haven’t felt very artistic.
Even if I were feeling artistic, I’m not sure I’d have the energy. Between driving my kids around, going to (amazing) concerts, and officiating roller derby (the newest, coolest hobby) – well, I’m not sitting in my house very much right now. I mean, there is work time but that’s kind of already slotted for something important.
Ultimately, time is an essential component of doing anything artistic and I just don’t have a lot of it to go around right now.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about all of this a lot lately. Am I focused on the right hobbies? Am I spending enough time with my family? Am I spending enough time focusing on meeting new people? Am I being the best version of myself? Sometimes major life events happen and you really take some time to think about what matters and, well, that’s where I am right now.
There isn’t an answer to be found here, not from me. The best I can offer is that you should only do the things that bring you some level of joy or happiness. It doesn’t matter if you’re learning a new skill, volunteering your time, or just killing bad guys in a video game – as long as it is bringing something positive to your life.
Thanks for stopping by.
JL